It’s ineluctable

I was determined to go to Barbara Brady’s workshop, Post-election Fuel for Positive Transformation. It sounded like just what I needed for my own healing from our recent election – and to focus on what I do next.  But I also heard about a couple other activities happening the same evening and was honestly a little confused about what to do.  But Barbara felt like my real commitment, so I sent her a Facebook note in which I said, “It’s ineluctable.  I don’t actually know what that word means and I’m too tired right now to look it up, but I think it means I’m coming.”  When I saw Barbara at church a couple of days later, she said that ineluctable meant that I’m definitely coming.

But the morning of the workshop, a customer of mine (I’m a cashier at Earth Fare grocery store) said that the Indivisible meeting that night was going to be a large, exciting gathering – indispensable for a political activist in this town.  I felt myself getting woozy.  He said he would email me some information and I said I would pull it up on my phone at my lunch time.

When I did pull the info up, I discovered that the meeting only ran ’til seven p.m.  I didn’t get off work until six, so I would make it for only the last half-hour of the meeting.  I felt a wave of disappointment, then heard the words, “It’s ineluctable.”  It can’t be avoided.  It’s meant to be.  There’s no mistake here, no loss, no carnage.  It’s alright.  It is good.  I got happy about going to Barbara’s workshop.

That happiness about Barbara’s workshop lasted about 40 minutes into the workshop.  I was enjoying the conversation, finding it valuable, being interested in the six other people there.  Then, out of the blue, I started thinking about the Indivisible gathering.  Just how large was it?  It might have been a great opportunity to promote our Tuesday Resist Trump rallies.  Had I made a mistake by not going?

This internal warfare went on for about five minutes, then my mantra returned.  “It’s ineluctable.”  What is happening was unavoidable – I’m in the right place at the right time.”  I was fine again.amy-cover-photo-for-evnt-page

When, the next day, I heard that there had been four hundred people at the Indivisible meeting, I was really happy that something was going on with so much vitality.  I found myself looking forward to finding the right ways to connect with that energy.  And I felt essentially no loss around not being there.

As an activist in a time when so much action is happening, there will be inevitable conflicts about how I invest my time.  Even in my social life this is true.  I think it was kind of helpful that I missed out on such a huge, dynamic meeting.  If missing that could be OK, then all manner of things I don’t do could be alright.

 

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